The Inevitable Laws of Genealogy

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admi
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The Inevitable Laws of Genealogy

Post by admi »

The Inevitable Laws of Genealogy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The records you need for your family history were in the courthouse
that burned.

John, son of Thomas, the immigrant whom your relatives claim as immigrant
ancestor, died on board ship at the age of twelve.

The public ceremony in which your distinguished ancestor participated when
the platform under him collapsed....... they didn't tell you he had a rope
around his neck.

Records show that the grandfather, whom the family boasted, "He read the
Bible at four years and graduated from college at sixteen," was at the
foot of the class.

Your grandmother's maiden name for which you've searched for years was on
an old letter in a box in the attic all the time.

When at last you've solved the mystery of the skeleton in the closet, the
tight-lipped spinster aunt claimed, "I could have told you that all the time.

You never asked your father about his family because you weren't interested
in genealogy while he was alive.

The family story your grandmother wrote for the family never got past the
typist. She packed it away "somewhere" and promised to send you a copy, but
never did.

The relative who had all the family photographs gave them to her daughter
who had no interest in genealogy and no inclination to share.

A great-uncle changed his surname because he was teased in school. He
moved away, left no address, and was never heard from again.

Brittle old newspapers containing the information you desired have fallen
apart on the names, dates, and places.

The only record you find for your great-grandfather is that his property
was sold at a sheriff's sale for insolvency.

The portion of the index you need is continued in the next issue, only the
publisher died prior to publication.

When you find the obituary for your grandmother, the information is garbled.
Her name is exchanged with her daughter's, the whereabouts of her sons is
unknown, the date for her father's birth indicates he was younger than she.

The only surname not found among the three billion in the Mormon Archives is
yours.

The vital records director sends you a negative reply, having just been
insulted by a creep calling himself a genealogist.

The 4 volume, 4,800 page history of the county where your great-grandfather
lived is not indexed.



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